The Prodigal Daughter Returns

Like the prodigal son in Luke at the end of his journey he realized that it  would  better to go back home. Only I didn’t realize that he return with a humble heart.

At the transitional housing facility, they went up on my rent and Dr. Nash was not pleased with my cleaning abilities. I would clean up but I would not be able to keep it up . It was like a mirror of the confusion in my life. I could get things together temporary but I was never able to make progress and continue to improve. I would get frustrated that I could not figure out how keep up my living space in a clean and orderly fashion. I would clean up but it would not last long.

Ms. Sallie one of the women in the transition-housing program was mentally ill and she had stopped taking her medication. I was worried when the child abuse investigator came that she would act up. She told me she had already spoken with La Freda at school. I was surprised. I told her about how I had been in three shelters since I got to Atlanta. I told her about La Freda going back with my parents and that I picked her up from school with out there knowledge.

I worked a couple of assignments for a temp agency. I did not have rent money for April. I had closed my welfare case in Fulton County and applied in DeKalb County. I thought the Child abuse investigator might look into that and cause more problems. As a result I would not be able to pay April’s rent. I went to talk with mycase worker and became hysterical. I apologized, but she insisted on sending me for a psychiatry evaluation. They prescribed me some pills and I never filled the prescription.

As a result of someone stealing my identification at JOC , I had to retake the drivers state to get another driving license. I went to take the driving test. I was supposed to take the take test, in my Elizabeth from church car but something happen, so she had her son’s car. I did not want to drive a station wagon. At the DMV we discovered he did not have insurance. I had to call the man I was messing with and he let me drive his pick up truck. I was so nervous I failed the test. The driver’s license examiners said that was the worse ride she had all day. I laughed and walked off.

On day after I dropped La Freda off at school , I was on my way to the Mrs. C’s day care and I got a flat tire on the highway. I was able to get off the highway with out having an accident. I called Mrs. C, and Louie but they could not help. I drove down Convingtion highway with flat tire on the car. I stopped at a gas station. This man noticed the flat tire and asked me if I needed help. He offered to buy a used tire for my car. He followed me down the road to a used tire shop. He paid for the tire gave me the change which was five dollars. I told him thank you, he told me no thank God.

I starting looking for other transition housing, one of the places I applied required a drug test. They told me I show traces of popi. I was shocked I told the women I had been sober since 1990.

Bentley had come by the transition housing looking for me one of the women there told me. I drove over his house. He was glad to see me. He told to call before I came next time of course. He gave me some money. I paid my car insurance. He told me to get the girls and me hair done. He took us out to eat and the movies to see Johnson family vacation.

In May we moved in with a man I had flirted with in the apartment complex. I did not want to move so La Freda could finish school. She attended 3rd third grade in three different schools. I had started talking to him months ago but when he told me he did not want anything serious just a good time I backed off, but now that I needed a place to stay so La Freda could finish school He also revealed hewas married. Plus I had a relationship with Bentley.

When his wife came over one day I felt so low. I was cooking dinner when he informed me his wife was on the way. I was trying to leave before she got there. She was cordial to me.

After a while, I realized he was drug addict. I let him use my car I had left my cell phone in it and he sold my cell phone for dope.

My mom had sent some money to take La Freda to the movies to see Scooby Doo. I had spent it on the rent. Now I had received some child support so I decide to go ahead and take her to see Scooby Do at Stone gate mall. Another time I let him use the car I had given my oldest daughter some money she left it the car and he spent that.

For June we stayed with a Family we met through church. We had spent Sunday’s with them. One Sunday we had a picnic in the park. We went bowling.

We went to Hope house a shelter that was actually a house. The director was dominating man. He caused me to feel very uncomfortable. His treatment caused emotions I had not dealt with from my domestic violence to surface.

I volunteered for mega fest 2004 I signed up to do concessions. I went to the last volunteer training session. I had to get special permission from the shelter to attend. They could not find my name on the list of concessions volunteers from New Birth.

I saw the audiovisual volunteers and I signed up the last-minute. My first day of Mega fest, I was thrilled to be with members of the potter house in the audiovisual area. They had followed Bishop T D Jakes from Virginia to Dallas. The Audiovisual Director‘s wife was talking about writing a book. I was stumbling around behind the stage trying to get back to the audiovisual are the. I asked awoman who wore VIPs pass. I was so surprised when I realize she was the woman who read scripture for Juanita Bymun.

Louie took my daughters and me the bus station. I could not believe it every time we went to St. Louis before he would not meet us at the greyhound station. He saw I had some money. He asked me to let him hold some. I leaned over and hugged him I told him we were not fucking anymore and I was not out of my mind.

We came to St. Louis for the fourth of July. We stayed at my parent’s house. We had a nice visit. I had promised La Freda we would visit for the fourth of July.

We went back so I could interview for Americorps. I had applied on-line for service leader position, I wrote and essay about why I want to be involved. When we returned to Atlanta we had to fine a new place to stay because our spot at the shelter because I didn’t want to pay for them to hold the room.We stayed with Yoyo one of the parents that assisted Mrs. C at the daycare. Yoyo had three-bedroom apartment, she lived in with her two daughters and her baby daddy. Yoyo and her baby daddy cleaned her apartment for the when the DFS worker came out. Yoyo and her baby daddy pretended to be married and signed something stating we would live with them until I got stabilized. I was so shocked they would do all that for me.

Not long after that Yoyo’s baby daddy starting being psychically abusive to her so I left. I told her I had been through that I already and I was not going to stay at her house and watch her go through that.

I attended Americorps training for the first week. I was excited about getting into education. Hands on Atlanta released me from the corp. and refuse to pay my stipend and daycare expenses. I lost the section 8 apartment; I was trying to get because of not having a paycheck stub.

I tried to get cake daddy to get me an apartment. He was not moving on my time frame. I was sick and tired of shelters and living with others. The Georgia Division of Family Services threaten to take my kids from me, if I moved any more. I loaded up the car and drove back to St. Louis. I did not want to go to my parents’ house. I spent my first night at my grandmother’s house. My uncle insisted I go to my parent’s house. Within the first couple of days I went over Moses house he was staying his with mom. I thought if I went back to Moses maybe God would restore me.