Syinly's Weblog.Net

This week one of my maternal cousins died. I thank God that he allowed Mr. Jones to be a part of my life. Mr. Jones was a positive male role model for me  and many others in my family.

He was married over 50 yeas . He worked at least years for the United States post office. He was an example of a man being the foundations for a community. He showed that understood commitment  and he was not ashamed to commit to God, his family and his job and his community.

Mr. Jones was active in his church he served as a Sunday school teacher, he was on the deacon board and he shared the gospel of Jesus Christ with his family , co workers, employees and customers of his corner convenience store.

He was a teacher to his family : as a father, grandfather, uncle, cousin He taught about love, Christianity, finances, business and being  my brother’s keeper.

He was a warrior he fought against racism at work.

After he retired from the Unites States Postal Service Mr. Jones operated a convenience store in one of the poorest neighborhoods in  St. Louis city. He taught me how to become a cashier and so much more.

Mr. Jones was a provider. He provided for his wife  and family. He provided employment opportunities. He provided good s for a neighborhood not many  would risk. His store was  not very profitable but he was rich. He was rich because of how he encouraged his neighbors who were his customers.  He was rich because he cared about his community.

Mr. Jones was a godly man. His life produced fruit. He was a man after God’s own heart.  Like  King David, Moses,  he had a vision.   He was concerned about the being his brother’s keeper like Joshua.

This year I have felt convicted about my lack of integrity. I thought it’s difficult to raise my children and try to teach them integrity when I am not modeling. I know on this blog I ham very transparent but  I do struggle with integrity. I like to justify that I am not lying because I withhold the truth more than make up bold face lies, but it still is dishonesty and a sin.
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.  Ephesians 4:29
In her book Even with My Issues Dr. Wanda Turner explained, “ God uses imperfect people because that’s the only kind He has.” She used the example of Jacob and how he deceived his brother into giving away his birth right and then tricked his father Issac into giving him Esau blessing. Rebekah helped Jacob trick Issac into giving him Esau blessing.
Dr. Turner point out that lying was a character defect that ran in Jacob’s family.  She talks about the first lie when  Satan lied to  Adam and Eve. Abraham lied about Sarah being his sister, twice. Then his son Issac also lied about his wife being his sister. Of course Issac son Jacob was known as the deceiver.
She explains that “ … lies originate from a fear of rejection or of harm of some kind.”  You can see in the biblical examples that Abraham told a half truth about Sarah being his wife because he feared for his life.  Dr. Turner states, “At the root of our untruthfulness is a mistrust of God.  Abraham lied because he didn’t have faith that God would protect him in those situations.   Peter also lied for the same reason when he denied Jesus three times before the rooster crowed.
When I  withhold the true it is for the very same reason I fear that I will be rejected and I don’t trust that God will work the situation out for me.

Today at church the minister preached about your responsibility as Christians to give back to your community.   The message came from Joshua 1: 10-18. Joshua had learned 40 years earlier that when the Israelites didn’t stand united they could not achieve any thing. He and Caleb had been ready to do was necessary to get into the promised land but the other spies where not .  Half of the Israelites had settled on the east side of the river Jordan. Joshua reminded them that they had a responsibility to help others get the land on the west side of the river.
Today’s service was a confirmation for me. It’s my time to become like Joshua strong and courageous. It’s time to become the voice that reminds people who we should not be comfortable until homelessness, cease to exist.   I have been using Syinly’s weblog to share the story of my journey as I stumble through Christianity. I have used this blog to try and increase awareness for the homeless.   Last year I became involved in a Sisters Impacting Sisters a mentoring organization for teenage girls. This year I am becoming more involved in helping to spread awareness about domestic violence by participating in the Breaking the Silence Project.
Since I was an adolescent with issues I have always wanted to give back. I struggled for a long time thinking I had not achieved enough to be able to help. Basically, I was dealing with fear just like those who prevented the Israelites from being able to enter the promise land 40 years earlier. At the 2010 Teens United Scholarship I heard author Jana Gamble say,  Don’t think your contribution is to little and that you can give back. Even if it’s small it still counts.” I need that reminded, because I doubted my ability to give back a couple of weeks ago when Sisters Impacting Sisters held a retreat and I had signed up to lead a small group. I question my ability to be able to help the girls, but I did lead the group.
It’s is amazing to me how God is using the situations that have been a mess to prepare to help others that are going through similar situations. That’s what this blog and the books are about being able to encourage and empower others . That is also the purpose for The People’s  Resource Site to help organizations , so that they may be able to focus on the work of encouraging and empowering people.   As parent it’s my responsibility to teach my children to be compassionate about their fellow-man. If I don’t get involved they will never know how. Our God and your president have charged us as Joshua charged the Isarelites to help out fellow-man we can no longer sit in comfort while people die psychically and spirituality.

Last night I went to a teens united event. The event was an opportunity for local artist to give back to the community. Teens were able to give back by bring a 5 dollar donation or can goods to help a local food pantry. It was a great event even the thought the turn out was not what the Professional’s Women’s Group and Sisters Impacting Sisters expected. Inspirational artist Emperor shared how he gives back to the community by being involved in conscious rap and mentoring young people. Several scholarships were awarded to teenagers who give back to the community through actively engaging in community service.
A teenager wrote and perform skit with his friend about issues that teens face today. The skit dealt with the temptations of drugs, sex and gangs. After the skit was performed, he offered suggestions on how teens could say , “ NO” with out escalating the situation when dealing when dealing with peer pressure.
The event started with praise and worship been lead by The City Troops a group of teenagers that gave an awesome performance. They were followed by local gospel hip hop artist Point 5. He was enthusiastic. He encouraged the audience to praise God and develop a relationship with him. Nethra Denise performed her  single Not that Dude to encourage men and then she performed, “ Average Chic” to encourage young women to be virtuous. Her last song was Fear Not the title track off her new CD.
Mynista shared excerpts from his personal testimony about how he was called to ministry through holy hip hop. He performed Nothing but the Blood. I was encouraged by how the holy hip artists were supporting each other as they performed. With secular rap artist there is fear when artist from different labels are in the same room.
The organization teens United has a Unity Statement that I thought I should share.

Today is a new day
Today is a fresh start
We stand United against drugs , sex before marriage, poor self-esteem and a negative self-image
We stand united against prejudice, hate , domestic violence and bullying
We stand as one voice
We stand united, uplifting one another­-bring hope and love
We are Teens United

Dr. Wanda Turner talks about how we can still serve God in spite of our issues in her book Even with My Issues. She defines pride , “ as our awareness of who we are  we focus on ourselves. Dr. Turner states, , “ Pride robs us of blessing and intimacy with God and leaves us busted and disgusted and maladjustment.”
I know most people think pride applies to arrogance but it also applies to insecurity, because of its nature to keep the focus on ourselves.  Dr. Turner explains, “ Pride keeps us from hearing and  heeding the Word of God.” It enables us from being able to accept counsel and grace from others.
She uses Naaman story ( 2kings 5) to illustrate, pride.  Naaman story reveals a connection between pride and anger. Naaman was a great military and man who was respected but he had his pride, which almost caused him to miss his healing. When the prophet did not come out of his house and personally great Naaman, he was offended. He got angry because the prophet sent his servant out with instructions for how Naaman should get his healing.  His servant advised him to take the prophet’s advice since it was a simple task to  dip himself seven ( number of completion)  times in the river Jordan.
There have been many issues in my life where my feelings were hurt ( I had too much self focus) and then I became angry as a result . My pride would not allow me to accept constructive criticism (counsel) at work. I had social problems in work environments because I was easily offended.
Pride has also affected my relationship with family. I have not been to their advice (counsel) or grace.

For more information about Pride check out this link.

A couple of weeks ago I went to see Ninja Assassin. I didn’t really want to see if but I volunteered to go with the teenagers. I was blindsided because I realized as the movie started that I was not in the right place to see Ninja Assassin I also realized the teenagers were no longer in the room with me. I decided to stay and watch what was on the big screen.

A watched a hard warming movie about a family that was blindsided by love. A white family adopted black homeless teenager.

Had I known Blindside was based on a true story about a homeless African-American teenager who beat the odds and didn’t become a static. I would have been more excited about wanting to watch it. The story of a white family taking in a young black athlete is not uncommon.  While I was in high school one of the football stars that lived in the same neighborhood as me, was taken in by the school’s assistant principal.
It was interesting to see the growth of Michael  Oher’s adoptive family especially his mother Leigh Ann Tuohy. When she first offered him shelter for the night it didn’t seem that  Mrs. Tuohy realized she would come to love him as a son, but over time you see her become his mother. I do not think she realized in the beginning of her relationship with Michael how much love she had. She was open to growth as a Christian and was blessed beyond measure.
Her decision to nudge him to be involved with football was out of maternal instinct. She realized that he had potential because of his size. She understood he needed to begin to think about his future and how with his limited education he could best provide for himself. You could see by Mrs. Tuhoy’s relationship with her other children that she  nudged them in the areas she saw evidence of talent.
In the movie they talked about how the NAACP investigated Michael Oher situation. It’s interesting that NAACP became involved because they suspected Oher was being used by the white family to make their alma mater look good but, nobody was concerned about the advancement of this colored child when he was in the custody of drug addicted mother.
Blindside is a great story because you see what happens when a kid every body expects to become a statics succeeds. The kid give people had given up on becomes somebody.  Oher’s friend who seem to have potential and people were willing to help him is the one that sadly ended up being a static.

Watching the movie I also thought about a case that was in the media about an African-American teenager , Marcus  Dixon who was raised by  a white family  who was accused of sexual assault.

Recently I was watching some programming on You Tube. I discovered SLUG TV at first I thought this  just another attempt to spread the gospel online but I realized it was more, because the story behind the broadcast.  I checked out the host on  Facebook and My Space and I learned  they had a powerful testimony I discovered that Lady Roo’s family had been effected by violence  and drugs. Her father was killed when she five years old and this affected her mother who turned to drugs to cope.  Because of her mother’s involvement with drugs, Lady Roo’s mother went to prison. In Prison her mother got sober and developed a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Lady Roo’s mother realized how good God was despite her circumstance and she began to share about  God with her daughter  in her letters. Lady Roo had already began to turn her life around. She had quit selling drugs, found a steady job and moved from her old neighborhood. After she started attending church her children noticed a change in her and when she got baptized they were ready to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior too.
After Lady Roo’s mother was released from prison they started attending church together. Lady Roo asked her co-worker Slugger Roo to give them a ride to church because they didn’t have transportation. One Sunday   he decided instead of just dropping them off to he would attend church service too. He got saved and the following year  he became Lady Roo’s husband.
Slugger Roo had been a part of a church as a youth. At 12 he left the church when he became a Vice Lord ( gang banger).
Now Lady Roo and Slugger are in prison ministry. I think her story would make an excellent  book that could be turned into a movie.

I remember the first time I read Joshua 1:1-9 and I liked the phrase ”be strong and courageous“, it encouraged my spirit.  I didn’t realize that it is a great verse to minister to those who have experience abuse. At church I heard the pastor say that domestic violence survivors were strong because they were able to endure and courageous because they choose to leave a bad situation.

 Be strong and courageous is not the only part of this passage that is applicable to people leaving bad situations or abusive relationships.   There are a lot of time when women with children leave abusive or bad situations. The women are leading just like Joshua was leading the children of Israel. When you are in the leadership role it is important to become grounded in knowledge so they you don’t lead your followers (children) the wrong way.

 The children of Israel desired a stable and security environment  after leaving the wilderness, just like  a family does  leaving after leaving an abusive  situation. 

 Women leaving abusive relationships need God’s comfort and protection just like the Israelites did.

For more informationon domestic violence

Yesterday I watched Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself.   As with most works by Perry, I laughed and I cried.  It hit home as most of his movies do since they are dealing with abuse, un-forgiveness and self destructive women. The main character April was a relationship with  Randy and even though it was April’s house Randy was controlling what was going on.  In the scene where  April asked  the handy man not to work on the room because  Randy was sleep. I thought about how I could not listen to the television at the volume I wanted in my own apartment when  Louie lived with me.

LaFreda said something about that and I told her we have already been through that. She asked me how and I reminded her about when Louie lived with us.  Louie controlled things in my home when he didn’t even pay any bills or contribute in any way.

 Excuse to release from an obligation or duty: to be excused from jury duty.

When I use to attend AA meetings I heard an excuse is a lie wrapped around a reason. I didn’t really understand what they meant. Tonight I got upset and stormed out the house with my kids even though it’s freezing. Thank God, He  had our neighbors see us and other us a ride to Dairy Queen. Once we at DQ my daughter asked me was it really that bad. I thought about it and realized it was not. I realized I had been looking for a reason to get upset and bolt all day. As i thought about it I thought I really understand an excuse is really a lie wrapped around a reason. I have been using excuses for years as the reason to run away from situations.

 excuse to offer an apology for; seek to remove the blame of: He excused his absence by saying that he was ill.